I knew UK Adult Zone was my kind of place even before I visited the joint. I mean, hell, it’s right there in the name. It’s kind of funny how the word adult refers only to age but makes you immediately think about boobs and boners and sex. Adults have other interests besides fucking each other or beating off, or at least that’s what I’ve heard. Whatever, though, because you and I both know why you’re here, and that’s 100% okay. In fact, it’s the entire reason I built my site, ThePornDude.

UKAdultZone.com lists escorts, dominatrices, trannies, and other sex workers in the United Kingdom. (They list male escorts, too, in case you’re into that.) The domain has been live for nearly twenty years now, which is fucking incredible, and they steadily receive more than half a million visitors every month. Those numbers alone tell me they might be able to help me get laid tonight, so what’s a Porn Dude to do? Well, I checked my bank account and went looking for a babe who fit my budget.

Putting the Adult in UKAdultZone

Pulling up the front page of UKAdultZone, I thought the page had only partially loaded. It’s a clean and polished design, but the top of the page jumps right into the Trending Towns list that’s formatted like something you’d find in a site’s footer. I may be nitpicking here as a professional smut reviewer, but some text or graphics between the title and the Trending Towns would be a little more pleasing to the eye.

That’s not to say it’s an ugly layout because it isn’t. I’ve seen some really bare-bones escort sites out there, but these guys have a nice logo and have clearly spent some time making the whole thing look nice. After a little blurb about the escorts (which I would have placed at the top), we find the site’s Latest Updates. It’s the kind of thumbnail view I like to see on an escort site, laying out the latest available paid pussy as an X-rated picture menu. UK Adult Zone allows explicit photos, so you’re not going to get bait and switched by some chick with a hairy butt crack. It also means there’s a lot of free T&A to shake your dick at if you decide you’d rather get off all by your lonesome.

One thing you’ll notice immediately is that there’s a fucking ton of activity on UK Adult Zone. This is one of the most vital measures of any escort site because you aren’t going to get laid in a fucking ghost town. The front page is full of new and active escorts peddling their services. I refreshed it after writing the above paragraphs, and I had an entirely new selection of chicks to choose from. Most of them have an AVAILABLE TODAY badge on their photos, so you can get some right away.

There are some filters at the top, letting you choose between Female Escorts, Agencies, Men, Trans/TV, Massage, and Dominatrix. I like how they’ve got a nice, wide variety of escorts to choose from, though I wish the filtering options were just slightly different. Honestly, I just want to remove the hairy male chests, dicks, and asses because they’re ruining my view of all the women!

On the same note, UKAdultZone doesn’t have any real advanced search features. That might be a real bummer if you’re looking for something in particular. The frustrating thing is that the site lets the women create elaborate profiles that list all their likes, talents, and stats, but there isn’t a way to search or filter for them. If they implemented even a basic search function that sifted through the listed info, it would improve the site’s usability a whole hell of a lot.

Where Do You Want to Get Pussy Tonight?

Escort sites are always a local affair because there isn’t much sense in searching for a hooker on the other side of the country. To that end, UKAdultZone.com has listings in different cities all across the UK. They’re all over the fucking place, too, from North Island to Wales to Scotland. Find a BBW mistress in Bedform to step on your balls and then travel to Worcester to bang an Asian up the ass. From Chesterfield to Crawley, Southampton to Stockport, Wimbledon to Worthing, you’re going to be able to find some action.

I clicked through to the London escorts, where I found a list of 45 sluts. The newest babe, Julia, is posing for her thumbnail wearing stockings with her ass up in the air, her front-page blurb offering the best prostate massage and strap-on available. Beside her is an exotic babe named Kayla, who describes herself as a “YOUNG CUM LOVIN CARIBBEAN BABE!” Blondes, brunettes, a couple of black girls, and a surprising number of Asians flesh out the page, plus a couple of shemale escorts.

A blonde babe with pigtails and hands full of lollipops caught my eye. I clicked through to her UKAdultZone profile to see how she might serve me. Besides a gallery of sexy photos, she lists interests like BDSM, Deep Throat, Face Sitting, and Rimming. Some sites make everyone use secret codes impenetrable to the newbie john, but as the photos, the listings are explicit and specific about what they’ll do.

The info gets deeper than that, too. I like how UK Adult Zone lets the women list their prices, so you don’t have to negotiate on the fly. They also list their available hours, phone numbers, and other ways to contact them. Visitors don’t have to register for an account to see the contact info, which means you don’t have to leave a paper trail or email trail for your wife to find. She doesn’t need to know you’re banging a tranny with bigger tits than her and a bigger dick than yours.

Let Us Know What You Think

I’ll be honest, folks: I’m a little skeptical if the last profile I looked at is real. “She” has only filled out some of her info, and her three photos available look like they were pulled from a nudie mag. If she were working with a big escort agency, the pics wouldn’t give me much pause, but she’s a freelancer.

Scams have always been a concern regarding the world’s oldest profession, which hasn’t changed with the internet. One thing that has changed is how to protect yourself from them. UKAdultZone.com allows user reviews, which is a massive help in finding a legit and talented escort. If you’re a regular here at ThePornDude, you know this is a make-or-break feature for me regarding escort directories.

Unfortunately, that chick I popped a boner for didn’t have any reviews—maybe because she’s too new, or perhaps because she’s fake. Whatever the case, I quickly found another London escort with more apparent experience. I’ll have to register an account to leave my own review, but I like to help out my fellow perverts.

Talking Dirty with Dirty Phone Sluts

Most escorts sites are useless if you’re outside the area where they’ve got listings, but UKAdultZone has a little something up its sleeve. They’ve also got a decent selection of phone sex operators to choose from. Many younger perverts think phone sex died years ago, but it’s alive and well on sites like this one.

The babes listed under Phone Sex are usually available for in-person hookups, but it’s nice to have the option to talk dirty with a pretty girl while you’re sitting on the toilet at work. Right away, I was drawn to a sexy chick in Bath wearing a black bra and a pair of rabbit ears. If I don’t end up dipping my ding-dong in a real woman tonight, I might give her a call.

Overall, UKAdultZone.com is precisely what an adult like me would want in a zone created just for them. It’s a place where you can quickly fulfill those grown-up needs of spilling your seed, whether it’s via a bareback encounter with a nineteen-year-old hooker, a blowjob from a blonde, or some old-time phone sex with a MILF who’s been doing it for years. The site gets enough traffic and attention to keep the roster constantly full and in rotation, meaning you’ve got some serious choices to make about how you’re going to spend this weekend.

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